The Roach Coach Man

So, what do you call the guy that drives the “roach coach?” A roach?

This powwow is going to drive me insane. My food vendor backed out on me this week, and now with three days to go, I don’t have anyone to sell food at the event. I guess that’s why I get paid the big bucks. 

While frantically searching today for a replacement food vendor, I decided to take a look in the yellow pages, that good old source for everything under God’s golden sun, from aardvark trainers to zoological species analysts.  So what do you call the roach coach guys again? You know, the guys who drive their burger and ‘dog trucks (usually silver) around town selling goodies to all the blue collar guys who never bring a lunch to work.  What the heck are these guys listed under in the yellow pages?

I give up…

Fend for yourselves, hungry public. I’m going to McDonalds.

English 101

There are so many obscure and underused (but *wonderful*) words in the English language. I thought the other day, “I should build a list of these words, so that I can learn them and start to use them incessantly.” Of course, I chose my favorite definition for each word, as some had multiple meanings. If you disagree, take it up with dictionary.com!

So here they are, part 1:

Abscond—(verb, used without object) to depart in a sudden and secret manner, esp. to avoid capture and legal prosecution: The cashier absconded with the money.

Amalgam—(noun) a mixture or combination: His character is a strange amalgam of contradictory traits.

Anachronism—(noun) something or someone that is not in its correct historical or chronological time, esp. a thing or person that belongs to an earlier time: The sword is an anachronism in modern warfare.

Anathema—(noun, plural) a person or thing detested or loathed: That subject is an anathema to him.

Appertain—(verb, used without object) to belong as a part, right, possession, attribute, etc.; pertain or relate (usually fol. by to): privileges that appertain to members of the royal family.

Atwitter—(adjective) excited; nervous; aflutter; twittering: They were atwitter at the prospect of meeting a Hollywood star.

Behoove—(verb) to be worthwhile to, as for personal profit or advantage: It would behoove you to be nicer to those who could help you.

Bombastic—(adjective) (of speech, writing, etc.) high-sounding; high-flown; inflated; pretentious.

Boondoggle—(verb, used without object) to do work of little or no practical value merely to keep or look busy.

Capitulate—(verb, used without object) to surrender unconditionally or on stipulated terms; to give up resistance: He finally capitulated and agreed to do the job my way.

Chockablock—(adjective) extremely full; crowded; jammed: a room chockablock with furniture and plants.

Clodhopper—(noun) 1. a clumsy boor; rustic; bumpkin. 2. clodhoppers, strong heavy shoes.

Debacle—(noun) a general breakup or dispersion; sudden downfall or rout: The revolution ended in a debacle.

Diatribe—(noun) a bitter, sharply abusive denunciation, attack, or criticism: repeated diatribes against the senator.

Frobnosticate/variant of frobnicate—(verb) (Usually abbreviated to “frob”, but “frobnicate” is recognized as the official full form) To manipulate or adjust, to tweak: Please frob the light switch (that is, flip it), also Stop frobbing that clasp; you’ll break it.

Learn one or two of these gems this week and use them in a random conversation. You may surprise someone with your ‘sturdy command of the English vernacular’. You can quote me on that…

-Me